Ladies, that is a loaded question is it not? When you really think about how you want your husband to love you, what comes to mind? There are probably a lot of different answers but here is what I (well Johnny helped also). Here is what I think captures what most women want in one way or another. The acronym: C.H.A.S.E (we really do want to be chased)
C= Cherish - what this means at its core is to be prized; treated like the most precious thing, be valued and be held in high esteem.
H= Honesty - we want our husband to be honest and open with us, not holding themselves or anything else back. We really do want an open book.
A=Affection – yes, it does mean sex, but it means so much more. It is that look of passion in their eyes for you. It is that tender touch or caress. It is the physical closeness that says we belong to each other. It is passionate kissing, not so it will always lead to sexual intimacy but just because you can!
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... tell them how and what you need. Not in a demanding way, but in a way that says, I want to love you well and I would love to tell you how I would like to be loved.
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S= Security - This one will probably be unique based on exactly how you want and need to feel this. I really needed and wanted financial security, but for others it may be related to being present, being dependable, doing whatever it takes to make you and your family secure. This may also be emotional in that you want and need to know whatever you share, whatever is exposed you are always safe. You are accepted no matter what.
E= Eyes Only for Me- This is one of my favorite ones. What it means is that my husband sees me as the image of what beauty is to him. He chooses to continue to have eyes only for me, even as I grow old, my body changes, and I don’t look the way I did. Eyes only for me, says he would choose me all over again!
Wow, now that is a tall list! I also think it is a totally reasonable one:). One thing we must keep in mind is that our husbands, even if they want to or try to, will never ever do this perfectly. Nor will we love them in the way they want and need - perfectly. But one way to have a better shot at getting them met some of the time and moving toward it all the time is to share it with them. They may really not know. I know, you are thinking “But, I have said it a hundred times”. Well, say it a hundred and one times; tell them how and what you need. Not in a demanding way, but in a way that says, I want to love you well and I would love to tell you how I would like to be loved.
If the C.H.A.S.E. acronym doesn’t resonate with you then think about how you do want to be loved. Come up with your own list and make certain and talk about it. Learning to love well is a lifelong journey but knowing what it is you need and want is a great first step on your journey.
~ Carla
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